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I came across this clip while thinking about what to submit to a grant application, and it was ridiculous but watching it made me start crying. I think this particular moment is the most fulfilled I have ever felt in my life, in the middle of all that sound, feeling like I'm in the center of some sort of light beam. I feel like I'm headed in that direction a lot more now again. It can be frightening at times, but I'm no longer afraid. Thrilling, but not scary.

This is my second week of taking my job as an artist seriously, and I love it so, so much. I wake up in the morning and I do morning routine stuff and I get ready (and I put on an outfit!! More on that later) and then I when the clock hits 10am I walk around the block, same route every morning, until I end up back at my house except this time I'm arriving at work. And then I work all day, until maybe 6:30 or so, and then I walk around the block again to walk "home from work". Honestly, it's been magical! I highly recommend it. And for the first time since graduating with my GAC I'm fully, fearlessly following what I feel is my calling. Did I weird you out yet with existentialism (not able to spell that word but auto correct helped me out thank you)?? No? Haha. But yeah. It's very serious.


Behold, the absolute strangest performance I have ever done - PLAYING WITH ROBOTS! Last summer in China, in Nanjing. The trip itself was awesome (I just love traveling with my band so much), although also somewhat strange, and collaborating with those Chinese musicians is always a unique and very rewarding experience. Also, unfortunately the robots weren't actually playing. But they sure were dancing! To the song we were playing live haha. Whose idea was that?! Genius.

Last night Aaron and I watched the Netflix documentary "The Social Dilemma". Not a very pleasant watch let me tell you, but highly informative! I think it could be appreciated by all sides of the political spectra. It saddens me though that people who tend to believe in conspiracy theories and such probably will have a hard time accepting this information. But still, I believe in the general intelligens and potential of the human race.. as a general rule. Anything is possible.

The movie kind of confirmed the looming feeling that I've had the past maybe 8 months that I really do not want to be a part of that. Reading about what the algorithms do make me sad. And as a musician it's so easy to get stuck in the hamster wheel race - trying to break through a system that is actually designed to make you feel worse. I won't play that game! BUT. What I'm getting to is that it also confirmed my feeling of wanting to have a blog again, on my own platform! Because, let's face it, I've always enjoyed sharing things online. But this way I am not trying to break through some system that hurts me. I can just share, and the people that want to take part of it are able to do so without any AI interference (or maybe "they've" already taken over our brains, we'd never know).

Like and comment and share on FB! Jk. but yeah there's a comment section here but unfortunately you have to make an account (you can come up with something ridiculous though, I don't think I'd be able to see the information). Ok thanks stay safe y'all! <3

Bam bara bap bap bap baaaaaaaaamm!

Here we go. A new era. Yet another blog. You would have thought that after 4.5 years of not blogging a single time I would've snapped out of it? I guess not!

One part of me thinks having a blog essentially is having an outlet where I can express all my *very deep* thoughts and feelings online and tell myself I am being heard. It is possible that it makes me be less annoying in real life! (if you ask Aaron, though, I'm pretty sure he'd still say I'm moderately annoying at times).

Disclaimer though: I'm not a very good writer. And I'm particularly not a very good writer in English, BAH! There will be strange linguistic things happening I am sure of it. But that is maybe also the charm? I feel like that might've been partly why people at my (now old/technically still current because I haven't told them yet I am now to be a Full. Time. Serious. Artist.) barista job liked me. Maybe they thought I was quirky. Or as Caleb said one time: "the way you talk reminds me of those vampires in What We Do In The Shadows", meaning, I think, that I often say things that almost make sense.

My other favorite part about having a blog as opposed to, say, writing like this in an email blast or on social media, is that I'm not directly forcing this upon anybody. You people came here on your own -- you should have known that this could happen! And you have the power to leave anytime you like thank you very much (aaand the majority of the people left. Isn't that the nightmare?? NO silly! This blog is for ME, mostly).

Anyways, we'll see what happens with this little experiment. Thanks for... getting through this rambling with me? Whatever it was that you did I appreciate it, for sure.

Enjoy this picture of the super cute new mask that my dear friend Anna gave me.


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